What is leadership? There are a lot of fancy courses and books and names of different types of leadership…some of this is excellent and thought provoking and some of it is utter nonsense. I think before we even begin to think about leadership in a more broad and general sense, before we begin thinking about leading others, we need to be able to take the lead in directing our own lives.

One of the first places where we can take the lead, are situations where we genuinely need help. The only person who can identify a situation where you feel stuck or trapped in an old pattern, is you. The only person who can know what you would like, really, is you. The only person who can know the difference when something is a simple “environmental level” change involving nothing more than the identification of the best solution, medication, program, or hire, or when this is a core “identity level” change involving belief restructuring and life alteration and you need the help of a change agent (person or sometimes event).

So how do we take charge of our lives?

The first step is to identify what you need, even when parts of you don’t want you to have that. For example if you need rest, but parts of you think you better work harder, it’s time to spend a little time working out what’s best for the system, so that all parts of you are honored.

Taking charge sometimes means asking for guidance. Taking charge sometimes means asking for help. Taking charge begins by asking the question:

“What would you like?”