Motivate Me

March 4, 2010

I have been feeling particularly de-motivated about exercising for quite some time. The funny thing is that I used to really like to exercise. I have these exercise videos/dvds which are a bit boring, but nothing onerous, and given my schedule and preferences would be an ideal way for me to work out. Lately, I just have not been doing them…I have also tried many other places and types of exercise but have not seemed to get going for far too long of a time.

The other day I managed to get myself in front of the video and caught myself in a really negative groove. First of all my mind was telling myself how much I didn’t want to do this, but that if I just crunched my spirit down, it would be over soon. Then my mind spent time inwardly criticizing the relentless perkiness of the instructor. Most of the time of the actual exercise was spent wishing it would be over and trying to picture myself as fit again, which just highlighted the gap between now and my former athleticism and made me feel bad.

Well, if that’s a sample of what my mind has been doing all this time no wonder I haven’t been exercising!

Having noticed this, I decided that the next day I would try something different. During the next 24 hours, if I caught myself thinking about exercise, I told myself how much I was looking forward to it and used my NLP skills to create an association between an anticipatory state and the exercise time. Then while I was exercising I forced myself to smile and instead of criticizing the instructor tried to be just as perky as she is, and ended up cracking myself up – thus pairing exercise with laughter! If I found my mind drifting to a future athleticism which was paired with all the times I’d failed to get back in shape, I tried focusing instead on how good it felt to move my muscles right now. Just gently bringing my thoughts back to enjoyment of the present.

Well after doing this for just a few days I can’t wait to exercise. Really.

What makes one person, given the same set of circumstances or hearing the same information, react in a productive way while another person (or the same person at a different time) spins into a negative counter-productive spiral?

The answer seems to lie within. Our brains create associations with words and with feelings and with states that can spark off a chain reaction. One “negative” (currently undesired) thought produces body chemistry that we may have associated with more “negative” thoughts. We create meaning from this chain reaction, and that meaning can be dependent on past decisions and experiences. What may have been life saving for a child, may be irrelevant or not so useful for an adult.

When we are feeling de-motivated it’s useful to create new associations and this can be done through changework sessions which explore and reframe deep patterning creating new meanings and new paired states. Or sometimes, as in my exercise example, simple, conscious mindfulness of being present with our bodies can change our body chemistry and therefore our mindset. Which method to chose really depends on the situation, the availability of resources, and whether it’s a simple environmental change that’s needed or whether it’s leading to a major identity change.

Filed under: NLP and Personal Change — Janet @ 11:55 am

The Single Most Dangerous Thought for Self Employed Professionals

January 7, 2010

Many people have heard me speak about how a business reflects the beliefs of its owner. For example, a person who is not charging enough in their business is liable to have some limiting beliefs about their personal worth – some sort of self esteem issue.  The “not charging enough” behavior is just a symptom of an underlying set or cluster of beliefs that were probably formed in childhood.

However, sometimes self employed professionals fall into the trap of thinking that not only does their business reflect themselves it is them.  And there is a crucial difference.

This is an easy trap to fall into, especially when doing market positioning work.  In my marketing teleclass for self employed professionals, “Claim Your Niche”, and in the positioning work I have studied by other service marketing gurus, there is a lot of emphasis on determining what differentiates your brand or how to name your “unique selling proposition” (USP).  In order to do that for a service practitioner – especially when the service is somehow personal, involving relationship, style, and a million other factors that vary between professionals in a similar field or target market – we need to look very closely at personality, strengths and weaknesses…in my classes I even go so far as to use NLP techniques to do things like internal searches to further elicit this information.  So it is very easy when your business is this personal to think that your business not only reflects you, it is you.

Again, there is a crucial difference. Understanding this distinction consciously and having this difference wired in unconsciously is what often separates my most successful clients from those that are struggling.  Understanding this difference and wiring this reframe into your other than conscious mind allows you to do things like not take rejection personally.

If you are in business not every potential client is going to be a match and probably some clients are going to complain. If you are running a belief cluster that says “I and my business are one” that feedback is going to hurt.  A lot.  It’s going to feel like a personal rejection and might stop you from moving forward.  On the contrary if your business is merely a reflection of you it is easier to take that feedback and use it appropriately to notice if you are correctly positioned, if your systems are working, if there is an appropriate response or if you just say “OK” and move on.

Even people with loving backgrounds can have these kind of outdated issues and feelings; it seems to be normal and just a product of being human.  What is important to know is that the patterning has a structure that can be redesigned to be more empowering to our adult selves – that’s what I do in my sessions as a practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).  You can make a shift and automate it so that you don’t have to remember to be different, you just are.

Do you have an opinion or experience you would like to share?  Please join this discussion on the Quantum Growth Facebook fan page.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Quantum-Growth-Business-Personal-Change-for-Self-Employed-Professionals/217462716878

Filed under: Mindset Matters, NLP and Personal Change — Janet @ 2:14 pm

Don’t Waste the “Wow”…Start with the Close in Mind

December 8, 2009

Two of the most common mistakes self employed professionals make when they first go to sell their services are the following:

1)     Moving to sell something to a prospect too early in the relationship.

It goes like this:  You meet at a networking event, introduce yourself, say what you do, and secretly expect at least one person who you just met 30 seconds ago to say:

“Oh my goodness, I’m looking for exactly that!  Here’s a check to get the ball rolling and let’s start tomorrow!  No I can’t wait until tomorrow, let’s start now!”

Or at least they’ll say:

“I’ll call you” (and really do it).

Now, maybe there’s something wrong with me, but my experience (and that of my clients), is that this simply does not happen.

Never?

Never.

So if you go in with that secret expectation you are going to be disappointed and possibly angry – at yourself, at the world, at the event.

Even if the prospect’s first impression was really great and they are “wowed”, when you move to sell before trust is established you will waste that “wow”.

The same thing is true if someone comes to your web site, hears you speak, or reads an article.  It’s too early to expect them to become your client.  The most that you can hope for is that they become fans of and consumers of your information.

2)     Having no strategy or follow up scheduled.

You meet people who are impressed or interested in what you do, you might even prepare a whole talk or presentation and really “wow” your audience but you have nothing in place to capture or convert the leads, so:

the “wow” is wasted.

If there is no follow up action – even though you did the thing you were supposed to do to build your business (network, speak, write etc.) you did not create any new business.

Even if you have the best content in the world, the most amazing revelation in your field ever, if you do not follow up, if you do not put time in your schedule or hire someone and systematize follow up, there will be insufficient new business generated from the activity and the “wow” will be wasted.

The erroneous conclusions from these mistakes

People often think if they just join a networking group, put up a web site, write some articles or speak in public they will get clients.  That’s partially true – any action will get you more than no action, but to create more of the right kind of clients consistently, you also must know how to de-code where a prospect is in a marketing and sales cycle, at any time, what to say to build trust and strengthen the relationship, and how to have appropriate offerings at each place.  And you have to have the self esteem to follow up.

It’s easy to feel that you’ve done a lot to market your business, because you’ve taken action and “networked”, but if you don’t plan systematic follow up you may have little to show for your effort.  The common mistake is then to conclude things like “marketing doesn’t work”, or “I am not good at business/marketing”.

In actuality what you just tried to do is impossible.  No wonder it didn’t work.  It would be like walking up to a stranger at a bar and asking for marriage instead of “Can I buy you a drink?”

The underlying issue

The two mistakes mentioned above ( either moving to sell too early in a relationship or not following up) stem from a personal limitation, a lack of self confidence, combined with simple lack of marketing know how.  And many, many people do both at the same time to varying degrees, especially when starting out.

In both cases the personal limitation is usually underlying self doubt (low self esteem), which (when you dig down) might be articulated as: “nobody wants my service (because I am at bottom worthless)”.  In the first case (rushing to sell) they don’t have the confidence that they can create multiple points of contact with a prospect or that it might be better to walk away from a non-ideal prospect.  The person has so much fear running that they try to brazen it out through appearing over confident.  In the second case (no follow-up) they are not having the self esteem to initiate the next step or the confidence to hire someone who will.  The fear of rejection or failure overwhelms them and they do nothing.  In both of the above scenarios the person will not create any business and thus will have the dubious pleasure of proving their belief about themselves and their worthlessness “right”.

Often a person with this belief set is only conscious of the belief “marketing/networking does not work”.  Or better yet, “marketing does not work for me/my service…  I am/my service is special and different and none of these techniques works to market it.”

Period.

It’s much easier to be conscious about that, because it’s externalized, than it is to be conscious of an underlying belief like “I am worthless”.  But most of us have this underlying belief to some degree.

The secret is to know what small step is appropriate to “close” on and to follow up on just that step.  If you are only trying to create a connection,that’s a lot easier and less threatening to your self confidence than trying to sell on the first contact (it also has the possibility of working).  Still, being able to do that may involve working with a qualified professional very explicitly on your beliefs both about yourself and about how the  world works.  Issues around worth and self esteem are common topics in my office.  The best way I have found is to not remain alone – to create support structures and positive peer pressure to unlock yourself from a vicious cycle into a positive one.

“Start with the close in mind” just means to think through ahead of time what is appropriate to close on at that stage of the game.

“Start with the close in mind” means to set yourself up for success by learning to believe in yourself.

If you just create support structures to continuously monitor and when appropriate update your beliefs your success becomes limitless.

Filed under: Mindset Matters, Speaking — Janet @ 11:20 am

The Difference Between Business Mission and Vision

October 23, 2009

The Difference Between Business Mission and Vision

I am frequently asked the question “What is the difference between business mission and vision?”

In a nutshell, a business Vision Statement describes WHERE you are going;

while the Mission Statement tells WHY.

The Vision Statement is about how you’ll know when you are THERE. As in “we are taking the business to new heights”. OK, where exactly are those new heights and what does that mean? Some business experts advocate that an effective Vision Statement answers the question: “What Business Are You In?” I would like to add that it should be exciting and inspiring. When you write a Vision Statement that works, you know it instantly. It sends a clear message to the universe of exactly what you would like to achieve, and you are able to look at it and think “now that’s a worthy challenge, yes, I/we want to do that.”

In my first business, I didn’t have a plan or write out a vision, I just wanted to set up a successful practice and I couldn’t understand why I seemed to be locked into one operating level. This time I vowed it would be different. So I sat down and thought through how I wanted to live, how big the business would have to be to support that, and as I planned and visualized, I realized that this was big, a whole new level, and that there were many reasons that went far, far beyond self interest why I should do it. When I’m feeling lethargic or low for some reason, thinking about my vision helps me refocus my energies and get back into motion. If your Vision Statement is very wordy, or has become part of the furniture, it’s time to re-energize it. My Mastermind workshops operate on the principle that the Vision and the rest of the plan need to be worked and re-worked regularly, and that doing this in community with others is exceptionally powerful.

One note to the world weary: if you get discouraged thinking about your vision because there’s so much to do and so little time to do it in, you may need some help getting organized. I have learned a great deal from David Allen and his “Getting Things Done” approach. The upshot is that if you don’t have your daily life and systems organized it’s really difficult to reach for teh stars.

While this article would be too long if I included the exercises and questions to help guide you towards articulating a Vision Statement, one tip I would like to include is the use of Vision Boards or some kind of visual representation. Include your team while you are creating this graphic. You might try employing the services of a graphic recorder/facilitator. When a vision is shared by many people and they are all holding clear images of their roles and perhaps how things might be different, real magic starts to happen. Representing your vision graphically helps most people create the kind of emotional state which moves them towards their goal.

The Mission Statement communicates to your stakeholders (employees, partners, shareholders, customers, raving fans . . .) WHY you are going THERE. It helps people who may (or may not) wish to join you in achieving your Vision, decide if their values are in alignment. When a potential partner of mine read my Mission statement and realized I was all about helping self employed professionals set up their own small business profitably and in alignment with their core self, she realized she wasn’t interested in joining the business; it just wasn’t close enough to her personal sense of purpose which was more around corporate culture change. It was disappointing, but much better to know before we made any contractual arrangements.

Most of us address the question “What is my purpose?” at some time in our lives. Aligning your company with your personal sense of purpose and communicating that alignment, respects everyone’s sense of purpose. A well written Mission Statement is something that speaks to people, customers included, of who you really are, and can provide a sense of meaning for you and others if the going gets rough.

Sitting down to write a Mission Statement, or communicating one out loud for the first time, can be anxiety producing for people. Many people think that if they right something down they will be bound forever. The truth is that most people’s sense of personal mission is dynamic. Soul contracts can be completed, lessons learned, or priorities shifted within ourselves. In our society (even in California) it is still a bit unconventional to say these things out loud. My business training using NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) workshops help people access information they may be holding at an “other than conscious” level, while the support and witnessing of the group makes it possible to create a meaningful business Mission Statement. The best tip I can give small business owners and creative entrepreneurs for creating a useful Mission Statement is to work with some sort of group or facilitator.

The Difference Between Business Mission and Vision

I am frequently asked the question “What is the difference between business mission and vision?”

In a nutshell, a business Vision Statement describes WHERE you are going;

while the Mission Statement tells WHY.

The Vision Statement is about how you’ll know when you are THERE.  As in “we are taking the business to new heights”.  OK, where exactly are those new heights and what does that mean?  Some business experts advocate that an effective Vision Statement answers the question: “What Business Are You In?”  I would like to add that it should be exciting and inspiring.  When you write a Vision Statement that works, you know it instantly.  It sends a clear message to the universe of exactly what you would like to achieve, and you are able to look at it and think “now that’s a worthy challenge, yes, I/we want to do that.”

In my first business, I didn’t have a plan or write out a vision, I just wanted to set up a successful practice and I couldn’t understand why I seemed to be locked into one operating level .  This time I vowed it would be different.  So I sat down and thought through how I wanted to live, how big the business would have to be to support that,  and as I planned and visualized, I realized that this was big, a whole new level, and that there were many reasons that went far, far beyond self interest why I should do it.  When I’m feeling lethargic or low for some reason, thinking about my vision helps me refocus my energies and get back into motion.  If your Vision Statement is very wordy, or has become part of the furniture, it’s time to re-energize it.  My Mastermind workshops operate on the principle that the Vision and the rest of the plan need to be worked and re-worked regularly, and that doing this in community with others is exceptionally powerful.

While this article would be too long if I included the exercises and questions to help guide you towards articulating a Vision Statement, one tip I would like to include is the use of Vision Boards or some kind of visual representation.  Include your team while you are creating this graphic.  You might try employing the services of a graphic recorder/facilitator.  When a vision is shared by many people and they are all holding clear images of their roles and perhaps how things might be different, real magic starts to happen.

The Mission Statement communicates to your stakeholders (employees, partners, shareholders, customers, raving fans . . .) WHY you are going THERE.  It helps people who may (or may not) wish to join you in achieving your Vision, decide if their values are in alignment.  When a potential partner of mine read my Mission statement and realized I was all about helping creative entrepreneurs set up their own small business profitably; she realized she wasn’t interested in joining the business, it just wasn’t close enough to her personal sense of purpose which was more around corporate culture change.  It was disappointing, but much better to know before we made any contractual arrangements.

Most of us address the question “What is my purpose?” at some time in our lives.  Aligning your company with your personal sense of purpose and communicating that alignment, respects everyone’s sense of purpose.   A well written Mission Statement is something that speaks to people, customers included, of who you really are, and can provide a sense of meaning for you and others if the going gets rough.

Sitting down to write a Mission Statement, or communicating one out loud for the first time, can be anxiety producing for people.   In our society it is still a bit unconventional, even for personal growth workshop junkies like myself, to say these things out loud.   My business training using NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) workshops help people access information they may be holding at an “other than conscious” level, while the support and witnessing of the group makes it possible to create a meaningful business Mission Statement.   The best tip I can give small business owners and creative entrepreneurs for creating a useful Mission Statement is to work with some sort of group.

Still have questions?  There is more information and examples on my website under the “Resouces” tab.  Please go to  http://www.artemiscp.com/ for help on how to articulate your company’s Vision and Mission and to find information about the 2008 Artemis Master Mind  series.

Filed under: Roadmap to Success — Janet @ 4:24 pm


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