Who does Transformational NLP Changework?

Here are some typical scenarios that you might be experiencing:

• “I want to ‘x’ and I keep ‘y’ing”. You haven’t been able to make the behavioral change you want and you are feeling really frustrated about it. The will power strategy has not worked (it never does). You would like it to be different without having to remind yourself all the time.
• You are a pro-active person, but right now you are bone tired. You made a change, you got a new job, re-married, restructured your team…and it didn’t get better. The new job, boss, spouse, structure… has eerily similar dynamics to the old one – that you couldn’t tolerate anymore. You’d like it to be different, now.
• S.O.S. Something you have lived with is not working anymore and there’s some urgency about changing. You need to be different and you don’t know how. If you don’t figure out a certain issue e.g. learn to control your anger, get past your shyness, be assertive… you are going to lose or miss out on something important to you, and that scares you.
• One more BMW won’t fix it. You have already attained a high level of success but parts of you think you haven’t. Every time you get close to a goal you move the bar, so when you achieve that goal it doesn’t feel like much. You’d like to be able to relax and feel connection with people instead of anxious stress and emptiness.
• Fraud syndrome. Some part of you is a little paranoid, any day now people are going to discover who you really are and then you’ll lose your job, spouse, business, and your friends and end up on the street. OK I’m exaggerating, but in this scenario it feels impossible to do things you know you “should” do like: charge enough, ask for a raise, take a vacation, or otherwise have your needs met.
• I’ve tried everything. You keep trying things – like affirming “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me.” – but nothing works and a little voice counters the affirmation with some version of “I must be broken”. I’m being playful here with the Stuart Smalley reference, but the reality isn’t funny. You probably look fine from the outside, but inside every time you build yourself up you feel worse and that’s painful.
• My favorite. Something really big is up. You know you are ready to make some change but, somewhat uncharacteristically, you are not sure what – except that it’s important not just for you but for the world. You are normally someone that people rely on to know what to do and how to do it and suddenly you are feeling lost. You are (often somewhat unconsciously) pruning or dismantling your life and/or your business. You are entering (or have entered) a stage where suddenly your life is uncomfortable, sometimes for no perceptible or tangible reason. You probably resonated with many of the above scenarios, even seemingly opposing ones, and it’s confusing, like someone pulled the rug out. You are feeling withdrawn and you may not know why. These are all symptoms that you’ve started a “radical” transition and you could really use an unbiased person and a safe space to start separating the wheat from the chaff.

Are you ready for change?

This work tends to challenge people in unexpected ways. Often we find that what someone came in about is not on what we end up working, and often people find that what they want changes once they begin to seriously engage in the transformation process. One cannot really know from the place where we start what we will want once we have begun to shift and that can be disorienting. When we begin to transform parts of us will feel like they are dying and that can be more than just a little uncomfortable.  As rewarding as this work can be in the long term it is not for everyone.

I find that the people who get the most out of my brand of transformational changework tend to be those who, internally, have really decided they are willing to engage. They are willing to do whatever it takes to complete their transformation and emerge as the butterflies they are.